Just a little bit crazy.

I am getting hundreds of emails per day.

That's hundreds, with an "h".

Most of those emails contain very very simple questions that are all answered in the Terms & Conditions page of the store, and it would be just darling if I could stop getting emails that I have to answer with text copied and pasted straight from there. I'm not some crazy bank with a 400 page terms & conditions page full of capital letters and the word "herein", it's actual important stuff that you need to know, especially because of the words that say "By continuing, you agree to all terms & conditions" under the "continue" button when you check out.

A lot of the email I get is about people wondering where their orders are, followed soon after with appalled exclamations of shock and wonder over the fact that I haven't hand-answered the first email soon enough. When you start getting hundreds of emails per day, you have to start streamlining and becoming selective with the ones you answer. The best way to do that is to not answer any emails that say "My order shipped over TWO days ago and it hasn't arrived" because me saying "Your order may take up to two weeks to deliver, as is the way with the United States Postal Service" won't make it deliver any faster, and all it will do is spur a "TWO WEEKS?" reply, when the package could very well be delivered on the next day.

Another type of email I choose not to answer immediately is the "How long until my order ships?" emails. Because I'm the one doing the shipping here, the length of time until shipment is offset for every time I have to answer that question instead of shipping orders. If I were answering every email asking how long until certain orders shipped, the answer would always be "Never, because everybody is asking that question."

And besides, the answer to that question is in the Terms & Conditions too. Also, when you log in to track your order, it says right under your order status what place yours is in line to be shipped. I had fun coding that part.

The point here is that I cannot answer every email I receive. I say this, because a lot of people are getting upset over the lack of response to their inane queries. I don't have a team of outsourced Indian customer service representatives, so in regards to my working time, it can either be spent answering emails or shipping orders.

Some people get so upset that I don't reply to their emails that they send even more emails asking for a refund and for their orders to be cancelled. The Terms & Conditions page states that I cannot cancel orders because they're "taking too long", because that means I have to devote even more time to emailing, cancelling orders, finding information, verifying email addresses, and sending refunds when I could be helping the more patient of my customers.

One person was so upset that I didn't answer a "my order hasn't arrived" email that was sent 7 days after the order was mailed, that she today replied and said that she was going to complain about me to Popular Science -- because popular science is concerned that everybody who orders a product they vaguely recommend doesn't suffer the anguish of something being lost in the mail. I replied, after looking up their order and confirming that (as of today) it had been the necessary 2 weeks of non-delivery and that I could send a replacement. She then forwarded me an email she'd send to Popular Science's customer service address, complaining about.. something. I still don't see what the problem is here. Is it that the order was lost in the mail, or that I didn't.. un..lost it?

I dunno. All I do know is that some of these emails are driving me (just a little bit) crazy.

Between all the people asking me if "it will charge my ____" gadget (which is answered on this site), the people trying to "scam" me into sending them the kit's instructions because they "lost theirs" when they really haven't ordered anything, the people asking advise about where they can buy the parts to build the charger (um.. from me?), and the people who misread the description for LineSkipper as "Your order will be delivered within 3 hours of placing it", I'm just about ready to give up on human communication.

I'm perfectly happy to answer support questions about this site or the check-out process, but beyond that there isn't much I can do or say. Your order will be sent out as fast as I possibly can make it. I don't know why your charger isn't working right, perhaps you built it wrong. Will it charge your cell phone/camera/PDA/MP3/toaster? I don't know; can your cell phone/camera/PDA/MP3/toaster charge via USB? Do I take checks? Yes, instructions are given via the checkout system.

I'm done.